This is my diary basically. I will be expressing my feelings and my experiences with things like faith, music, nostalgia, holidays/special occasions, and so many more things through these posts.
All posts will be saved in “Journal”!
It has been a couple of months since I last wrote about my brother. I decided to try and go back to school, but it reminded me too much of my brother, so I’m doing online. Maybe I’ll retry next semester 🙂
I’ve been crying all week and I don’t know if it’s because Día de los Muertos is tomorrow or because in a couple months it will have been a year since I last saw him. I have been feeling like I am going insane every time I think about our lives growing up.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to stop searching for him everyday, I don’t know how to stop thinking about our childhood, I don’t know how to stop giving up on doing thing I used to love, I don’t know how to stop being a little sister to him, I don’t know how to find motivation to keep trying with school and work, and I don’t know how to stop making room for him as if he’s going to come back.
I miss waking up happy, I miss his insults, I miss his voice, I miss arguing with him, I miss his obnoxious laugh, I miss receiving messages about picking up food on my way back from school, I miss bonding with him over common interest, I miss telling him family drama, I miss his horrible driving, I miss him making a mess and not cleaning it up, and there’s so much more but I just miss how much I need him in my life.
I thought I was doing fine, but there’s just something about this week that is making me so miserable.