This is my diary basically. I will be expressing my feelings and my experiences with things like faith, music, nostalgia, holidays/special occasions, and so many more things through these posts.
All posts will be saved in “Journal”!
This might be a controversial topic but I don’t believe in God. I grew up Catholic and I went to CCD, volunteered, prayed, and went to mass throughout my childhood. As time went on we eventually stopped going as much because we moved further away from the church we attended. If I’m being honest, I never truly felt connected to any religion, no matter how hard I tried, it just never felt like I belonged. When my brother died, I felt like it was because I didn’t believe and that’s why “God” didn’t save my brother. After a while I started to become enraged with the fact that my entire family believed and yet it STILL happened. I don’t care how many people tell me that God is good and he only wants to help—I will ALWAYS hate him for not doing what everyone says he “does”. I went to his Funeral Mass and I remember all I could think about was the fact that we are here BECAUSE of God. My family still goes to church weekly, but I just go because it brings comfort to my parents. The only thing I can think of when I go to church is “I really want to be high right now”. My brother also never believed or cared about the church, but he was always more open about his indifference. I was always able to be more open about the fact that I didn’t care about religion with him since we both felt the same way about it. I miss being able to express my opinions about what stupidity was said in Mass every week.